Summer school's half done.
Almost time for vacation.
Naples, here I come!
Monday, June 27, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
Nonpology
Word for the Day:
Nonpology (nahn-pah'-lo-jee)
1) A false apology used for rhetorical effect
2) A spiteful phrase made to look or sound like a real apology
"Not only did Fred crash my car, but then tried to make it seem like my fault and finally gave me a nonpology."
Have you ever been wronged by someone who then wanted to argue about whether or not the trespass was really wrong? Or perhaps, as a variation, while it was obviously wrong, that it was nonetheless deserved? The more you try to reason with such a person, the more their argument falls apart, until they are forced to accept the logic of your case and admit wrongdoing. When this happens, and they have no choice but to admit fault, they spit a sort of apology at you, something like "Fine, I'm sorry," or "Oh, pleeease forgive me," in that sarcastic tone that undermines the meaning of the words. That, friends, is a nonpology. A more subtle variation is "If I offended you, then I'm sorry," which is a conditional statement in nonpologese which translates to "I think you're just being a baby about this, but if saying this will shut you up, then I'll do it."
The origins of the nonpology are to this day unknown, but many historians and theologians believe that the first nonpology occurred in the Garden of Eden, directly after the fall, when Adam said to God, "My bad." Since then, the nonpology has been a very sneaky way of ending an argument or pacifying one's victim, while still attempting to maintain one's innocence. In fact, in many cases, the nonpology is actually used to make the victim feel guilty about protesting or pressing the issue, thereby making him or her a double victim, first of the offense, and secondly of the false sense of guilt brought on by a skillful nonpologizer.
Beware the nonpology, and do not accept it under any circumstances. Forgiveness may be our Christian duty, but stupidity and weakness are not. Forgive, by all means, even without apology when possible, but insist that all apologies be genuine and heartfelt. Accept no substitutes.
Nonpology (nahn-pah'-lo-jee)
1) A false apology used for rhetorical effect
2) A spiteful phrase made to look or sound like a real apology
"Not only did Fred crash my car, but then tried to make it seem like my fault and finally gave me a nonpology."
Have you ever been wronged by someone who then wanted to argue about whether or not the trespass was really wrong? Or perhaps, as a variation, while it was obviously wrong, that it was nonetheless deserved? The more you try to reason with such a person, the more their argument falls apart, until they are forced to accept the logic of your case and admit wrongdoing. When this happens, and they have no choice but to admit fault, they spit a sort of apology at you, something like "Fine, I'm sorry," or "Oh, pleeease forgive me," in that sarcastic tone that undermines the meaning of the words. That, friends, is a nonpology. A more subtle variation is "If I offended you, then I'm sorry," which is a conditional statement in nonpologese which translates to "I think you're just being a baby about this, but if saying this will shut you up, then I'll do it."
The origins of the nonpology are to this day unknown, but many historians and theologians believe that the first nonpology occurred in the Garden of Eden, directly after the fall, when Adam said to God, "My bad." Since then, the nonpology has been a very sneaky way of ending an argument or pacifying one's victim, while still attempting to maintain one's innocence. In fact, in many cases, the nonpology is actually used to make the victim feel guilty about protesting or pressing the issue, thereby making him or her a double victim, first of the offense, and secondly of the false sense of guilt brought on by a skillful nonpologizer.
Beware the nonpology, and do not accept it under any circumstances. Forgiveness may be our Christian duty, but stupidity and weakness are not. Forgive, by all means, even without apology when possible, but insist that all apologies be genuine and heartfelt. Accept no substitutes.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Preschool Mania
After a week of even less sleep and more three-year-olds than any sane man should ever have to deal with, VBS is finally over. For those not acquainted with this age-old tradition, VBS is Vacation Bible School, a week-long festival/training for elementary kids, to teach them about Christ and draw them, and their families, into the church. This year the theme was PandaMania, heavy on both the pandas and the mania. The design crew created an incredible set, the songs were lots of fun, and everything down to the snacks fit with the overall theme. I remember how much fun it was when I was a kid, but I don't remember it being so much work.
My department was the three and four year olds. This means that my wonderful, patient crew and I got to share the Word with twenty little ones who have a hard enough time just watching me talk for more than five minutes. And the answer to every theological question is something like, "I have a bunk bed," or "my hamster eats lettuce," or "I have a bicycle but it's too little for me so I don't have a bicycle anymore." It requires the utmost concentration and grace just to get through a lesson. Basically, the number one rule and our salvation is K.I.M. - Keep It Moving. Don't let the fun stop even for a second.
Still, despite the exhausting hours and the barrage of fast food, we did get to spend time with twenty amazingly cute little kids and share our faith with them, and while I don't think they understood half of what we were talking about, I do think they might have understood one tenth, and that might just be the seed that grows into something beautiful later on. So, thanks to the entire church crew, and especially the preschool helpers for making this year's VBS so much fun!
My department was the three and four year olds. This means that my wonderful, patient crew and I got to share the Word with twenty little ones who have a hard enough time just watching me talk for more than five minutes. And the answer to every theological question is something like, "I have a bunk bed," or "my hamster eats lettuce," or "I have a bicycle but it's too little for me so I don't have a bicycle anymore." It requires the utmost concentration and grace just to get through a lesson. Basically, the number one rule and our salvation is K.I.M. - Keep It Moving. Don't let the fun stop even for a second.
Still, despite the exhausting hours and the barrage of fast food, we did get to spend time with twenty amazingly cute little kids and share our faith with them, and while I don't think they understood half of what we were talking about, I do think they might have understood one tenth, and that might just be the seed that grows into something beautiful later on. So, thanks to the entire church crew, and especially the preschool helpers for making this year's VBS so much fun!
Monday, June 13, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
The (Once and Future) Sleep-Deprived Single Father: or, What a Difference an Hour Makes
School is over, and although my work is never finished, there are at least two weeks without students. Before summer school starts, before the work of preparing for next year begins, there are two glorious weeks when I don't have to get to work so early, and I can sleep in an extra hour or two.
This is deeply personal, but since you asked, my problem is not staying asleep, but getting asleep. Once I'm under, I can sleep for an appropriate time, but since it takes a while to get to dreamland, the alarm seems to always catch me before my proper sleep cycle is complete. This week, however, has been wonderful, just for the couple of extra hours of sleep and the absence of hustle in the morning's routine. I feel more alert, and yet calmer. My mind is clearer and I swear I actually look better. (But then I always think I look better than I do.)
So if you're feeling run-down and worn-out, I whole-heartedly recommend some good sleep. Based on my impartial research, one or two days won't do - it takes a few days in a row for the effects to take place. And vacation with the kids probably won't do the trick either. All of that running here and there, trying to catch shows and make good time and create memories doesn't leave much time for sleep. I find that simply bribing or threatening the kids to leave you alone until at least eight in the morning works well.
Sadly, though, all good things must come to an end, and after next week, my schedule becomes much more rigid again, and this oasis of sleep will vanish. But until then, I am enjoying the high of well-restedness and trying to figure out a non-pharmaceutical way to prolong it.
This is deeply personal, but since you asked, my problem is not staying asleep, but getting asleep. Once I'm under, I can sleep for an appropriate time, but since it takes a while to get to dreamland, the alarm seems to always catch me before my proper sleep cycle is complete. This week, however, has been wonderful, just for the couple of extra hours of sleep and the absence of hustle in the morning's routine. I feel more alert, and yet calmer. My mind is clearer and I swear I actually look better. (But then I always think I look better than I do.)
So if you're feeling run-down and worn-out, I whole-heartedly recommend some good sleep. Based on my impartial research, one or two days won't do - it takes a few days in a row for the effects to take place. And vacation with the kids probably won't do the trick either. All of that running here and there, trying to catch shows and make good time and create memories doesn't leave much time for sleep. I find that simply bribing or threatening the kids to leave you alone until at least eight in the morning works well.
Sadly, though, all good things must come to an end, and after next week, my schedule becomes much more rigid again, and this oasis of sleep will vanish. But until then, I am enjoying the high of well-restedness and trying to figure out a non-pharmaceutical way to prolong it.
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