Word of the Month - Alonophobic

Word of the Month
Alonophobic (a-lohn-o-foh-bik)
adj. Having an irrational fear of being by one's self, even for a moment
[ant. Agorophobic]
"Can my friend go to the bathroom with me? No? But I'm alonohobic!"

This month's word was invented by my daughter, in a conversation with her band teacher. Once again, she had left her saxophone in my class room and needed to come get it. I'm starting to suspect that she does this just so she will have an excuse to either visit me a couple of times a week, or just to be seen on the high school side of the campus once in a while. In addition, she usually waits until band class starts to say that she needs to get her instrument.

Now, campus policy is that the younger students always travel in pairs, for safety. Even though it's a closed campus, a child could fall or get hurt and then the other could run for help. Unless of course, they both fall, in which case they would have to just lie there until help comes, rationing water and weighing survival options like in 127 Hours. By the time the children get to fifth grade, my daughter's class, the rules are relaxed a bit, and the children can run errands on their own, either because they have earned our trust, or because we have grown so tired of them that we're willing to risk it. This is especially true at the beginning of band class, with over twenty students who are expected to play at the recital in the first week of December, and who have just mastered the skill of opening their cases and assembling their instruments.

So when my daughter asks if she can get her instrument, she expects her little best friend to come too. The band teacher says there's no need for that, but she insists that she's "alonophobic" and requires constant companionship.

When she tells me this story while she's picking up her instrument, at first I'm impressed by the ingenuity it takes to play with language that way. Then it dawns on me. She's not kidding. And that's why I have to sleep with my door open. That's why she still holds hands with me when we cross the street, even though she's nearly as tall as I am. That's why she insists on annoying her brother by going into his room when she gets bored.

I'm raising an alonophobic child.

How am I supposed to break this cycle? I certainly don't want her to be an alonophobic adult, dragging her friends to the bathroom with her, refusing to eat by herself, Facebooking until three in the morning rather than going to sleep alone. I'm thinking about doing some kind of survivor training on her, dropping her into the forest to fend for herself, with no one to talk to. Or maybe I could give her a three-hour time out every day to be alone in her room, kind of a vaccine against alonophobia. Or maybe I could just let her be and see if she grows out of it.

In the meantime, I'd like your help in bringing awareness to this apparently common, but rarely talked about plague. We could do one of those reposts on Facebook. Chances are you know someone who suffers from alonophobia, the cousin who always wants to hang out when he doesn't have a girlfriend, or the aunt who constantly pops over unexpectedly for dinner. Maybe it's the sister or brother who calls you all the time, but never has anything to say and only uses up your minutes with long stretches of silence interrupted by reports of things that he sees. Or just maybe, you yourself are the alonophobic, suffering in silence, often enduring minutes at a time of solitude, talking to complete strangers in the checkout line of the grocery store. For you and all of the others living with this invisible curse, we are behind you, and we will not leave you alone.