Essaywhuman!?!?!?

I've just put down an unfinished stack of essays, test prompt responses to be exact, in order to write this, because I've had an epiphany. For the last few years, I've been trying out all the new techniques for grading and evaluating essays. I've used rubrics and portfolios, peer editing and even parent editing. I've incorporated technological solutions in my quest to free up some of my time and save my eyes and brain from the sea of drivel with occasional mini-islands of coherence. Email, message boards, online essay graders - I've tried everything to lessen my workload of essays, but I still feel overwhelmed by them every time I get a new stack, and I think I have figured out why. The truth I've been unable to face until now is simple - I don't want to grade any papers. Zero. None. I don't want to read them. I don't want to critique them. I don't want to carry them home and pretend I'm going to get to them over the weekend, only to bring them back unread and untouched on Monday morning. Maybe I'm in the wrong business.