Always Feed the Giraffes

Today I had the wonderful experience of chaperoning my fourth grade daughter's class trip to the Miami Zoo. Just a few years ago, when my poor, forsaken son (the one who had the terrible, inexperienced father) was in elementary school, I never did go to a single field trip. I told myself I couldn't possibly take a day off, that things would fall apart without me, that it wasn't even like a family trip anyway. It didn't matter how fun the trip promised to be, and, in my defense, they weren't all fun anyway - planetarium, I'm looking at you. However, it wasn't really supposed to be about the fun, but about the meaningful sacrifice of time to do something your kids want to do for a change.

So I made it a policy a couple of years ago to go on at least two of my daughter's field trips every year. Today's trip was to the zoo, which is not only something we both really like, but also something we hadn't done for a couple of years, and also something really far that I don't want to have to drive all the way to visit. So winner all the way around. I led a group of five fourth graders, including my daughter, into the wilds of Africa and the heated forests of the Amazon, confronting animals so dangerous and cunning that nothing short of a steel cage or a tremendous concrete chasm could keep them from leaping upon us and feasting on our warm flesh. We had a great time, too short even, since there was a whole lot more we wanted to do when it was time for us to meet up at the bus.



Feed me!

 
The highlight of the trip was definitely feeding the giraffes. This was a surprise to me, since the zoo had added the attraction since our last visit. Basically, there's a deck about fifteen feet high that juts out over the giraffe enclosure, with a vendor taking two dollars for bunches of leaves that grow for free, sometimes too much, in my backyard. The giraffes stick their huge heads over the rail of the deck and you hold out the leaves for them to take with their ten-inch, snake-like, prehensile tongues. It's a mixture of creepy and awesome that should appeal to most kids. My daughter was the only one who didn't want to do it, but after I bought leaves for everyone, the ferver and peer pressure kicked in and she was begging to get in there to feed them. Once again, winner.

So, if you've never done it, I whole-heartedly recommend that you chaperone a field trip. It's not as much work as you might think, makes your kid happy, and (assuming the people planning the trip are cool) won't cost you anything but a personal day at work. And you know you still have at least three of your days left. If that isn't convincing enough, I'll close with ten reasons to chaperone your child's next field trip.

1) You will be a hero to your kid's class. They love parents who chaperone. Spend five or ten bucks to buy them all food for the birds or fish or giraffes and your street cred doubles.

2) You can get to know your child's teacher in a more pleasant situation, one where nobody is in trouble.

3) Field trips are fun. That's why we do them. Some of them are less fun, like those trips during which you find yourself in a dark room shaped like the cupola of a cathedral, looking at fake stars while listening to a half-hour of astronomical jargon that you'll never remember when you're looking for real stars you'll never find because there's no red pointy arrow in the real world.

4) Volunteering for class projects and field trips helps to get you into a position of influence in your child's education. If you were a teacher, whose input would you take more seriously? The class complainer who ruins some of your best days? Or the helpful volunteer who makes your job easier?

5) You will get to know your kid's friends. That way, you will be able to put a face to a name when you hear about all the horrible things they do to your child during school.

6) You can meet the parents of your child's friends. Network, set play dates, share resources, raise funds. Do all of those cooperative things that make your life easier. Discreetly hand out a couple of business cards if you still feel guilty for ditching work.

7) You'll be away from work for a day. Let's face it, we have personal days for a reason - the protection of our sanity. A refreshing change of pace will make your workdays more tolerable, and the quality time with your kids will make your home life more intimate.



Sexy giraffe winks at you.


8) Very often, the field trip will take you someplace you always wanted to take your child anyway, but somehow never got around to.

9) In going to that place you've been meaning to take your child, you'll find that you get in for free, and your child gets in for the group rate. Ka-ching!

10) You can call in markers with your kids for chaperoning the trip. Act all reluctant, and then tell them you'll chaperone if they keep their room clean for a week.